SuperBowl Sunday

Today is Superbowl Sunday, billions of people are having gatherings to watch two teams crush each other for a ring and a title. I have been invited to several gatherings.....I was also invited to go see one of my favorite recording artist Sarah McClaughlin in Oakland. I have instead chosen to do laundry instead. Trying to do a mundane task that will let me not think about life right now. I am not a big football fan though the commercials during Superbowl I enjoy. The snacks and food for Superbowl I adore. Normally my friend would beg me to go over and watch the game with her, she would make nachos and chili and some kind of chocolate dessert. Instead my mind set is to not go to the hospital, because yesterday was so hard seeing the state she was in and not go to a party and put on the" I am ok mask".

I have put my healthcare on hold during this time, the cancer is slowly growing unchecked and I do not care at this moment. Normally I would be frantic to get treatment and talking to the Oncologist asking a million questions and begging him to do something. For now my cancer is not the focus of my life. This is a turning point in my journey, the life of someone else is more important.

Yesterday and today I had conversations not intiated by me about the what if she dies...what would her wishes be. I know these conversations have to happen but inside I am screaming at her family and friends to quit it. I don't want to be part of the negative talk. God and I have a conversation going on about sparing her life and I don't want to lose hope.

I wish I could ask the billions of people watching the game to take a moment and pray....for heaven to be filled with voices of Lord, bless Lori and spare her life......instead they will be yelling for the Packers and the Eagles (okay I am not sure of the teams) but whatever they are screaming if I could just ask them to pray....just pray for a minute between your beer and game watching. JUST PRAY.