My best friend is dying

Lori helped me escape from Armando. We worked like robbers in night and moved my things out of my abusers house. She gave me shelter and finacial support when I had nothing. She has been out of work for the last three years and has not had insurance. To deal with the depression she began to drink more and more. Instead of drinking in the evening it progressed to an all day thing, beginning in the morning until night. My friend was and is an alcoholic, just like Armando was. I overlooked her drinking because it became a point of contention between us....was easier to ignore than fight. She was still my friend and we helped each other out. She took me to Chemo or came to my rescue many times.

Last week she had a stomachache. It was so bad that she called 911. The emergency room doctor said she had cysts on her pancreas, a side effect of the abuse of alcohol. I was the last person to have a conversation with her before she slipped into a coma like state. Her parents came from Georgia, and saw their only daughter in such poor shape. She has been getting progressivly worse. She was intubated then in order to drain the cyst they removed the tubes. They drained more than a liter of fluid and they attached a drain. As soon as they left the procedure her vitals plummented. She was again intubated and never opened her eyes.

This morning her mom called and said the hospital called and said to come. She has gotten worse and it did not look good. The sepsis has taken a hold of her she is dying. I am scared, I am so sad, I have been praying and just don't understand. I witnessed Armando die from the side effects of Alcohol abuse. I had to make the decision to take him off the machines. I could not go to the hospital today. My body is exhausted physically and mentally. I can't watch another person die in front of me. I feel guilty that I am not there, but I feel so horriable, depression is taking a hold of me. Pray just Pray