tears and regrets

The flood of tears have been non stop today. I can't seem to get it right with the ones I love. Nothing is worse than feeling like a burden. I am forgetting a lot of things......peoples names, times of events and just about everything. Is this what my future holds? Is this another side effect of the cancer or the drugs I am on?

I am not sure what is worse....feeling like a burden or being abused by Armando...both hurt....both leaves my self esteem in the gutter. I feel so low and wish for better days......wish I could get a break and just have things go well for once. Maybe some of us are not meant to live happy. Maybe getting cancer is my prize for not being a better person. I don't know....just know that I can't stop crying today. Tears and regrets is all I have, and that really sucks.