Is there someone out there

I am not going to lie, yesterday was a rough day for me. Armando called and he has retained an attorney. He makes a lot more money than I do and can afford the prices an attorney charges. Three hundred dollars an hour is the standard fee. I don't have that kind of money. I filed the papers by myself and thought I could do this alone but it is overwhelmning and I can't. I need to make sure I get spousal support, medical coverage and a split of the assets. There is so much involved that it is over my head. Marissa is studying for the BAR and I can not get her to help me. She is overwhelmned with trying to pass this test and it would not be fair to put her in a position to be in the middle between her dad and I. I called and left messages at several legal aid clinics....I don't qualify because my social security check is more than low income.....I am 176. over the limit. I find myself feeling so upset and lost. What can I do is a tape playing over and over in my head. I feel like I am hopeless and scared. Talking to the clinic intake people yesterday and repeating my plight over and over again only brought my spirits down further. I am trapped in a no win situation. It would be different if I could just go back to work but I can't. My body is disease ridden even when people say you look so good and don't look sick. They are not in constant physical pain. Taking massive amounts of pain killers and drugs to get through the day. Emotionally I am fragile. I want to cry....the tears are ebbing behind my eyes. I was abused for so many years but never had to worry if I could afford to put gas in my car. Funny how I traded my well being for the comforts of what money could buy. Did I make a mistake by leaving? I don't want to think that I did.

I want to ask anyone I have ever met to see if they know of someone or someplace that can help me. I wrote to a couple of people yesterday....one person responded with a few more clinic numbers but they could not help me. If there is someone out there that has a light for the end of this tunnel....please come forward. I need someting to grasp onto. I am drowning in self pity. I am lost.