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You can only see the eyes on the women who wear birkas, the eyes can show happiness or saddness. I wonder what my eyes reflect. Do they tell of the feelings deep inside? Do they tell of the disease growing unchecked? Do they tell of the how certain actions left a scar so deep on my heart that I feel I can not rebound? I want to tell how I am feeling but know the one person I want to hear me will not fully understand the impact of the words or actions that were said.

I hide behind a face that doesn't show the emotion I am feeling. I stuff the pain inside.....no little pills take the pain away. I have become intolerant to them. The more I take....there is still no relief. My life has taken another path....one I never thought I would take. I mourn the past life, knowing full well it will never be the same. I wish I had a "Birka" to hide inside.........instead I will just smile and pretend that everything is alright and has not changed.