Something new

I did something new yesterday....I cancelled 3 art shows that were scheduled for the month of June. I have never cancelled an opportunity to show my work...my passion. My passion is waning, I no longer hunger for the feel of paint gliding over canvas or searching for the perfect object to photograph. There is an empty space that was once filled with creative energy. The only thing I feel is a need to know what the future will hold for me. My CT scan was last Friday and I only want to know what the results were. I run to the phone each time it rings to check the caller ID to see if it is my doctor is calling....but only telemarketers are calling.

The painting above is one that I did when I first learned of the pelvic mass. I call the painting my private hell.....because of the lighting, the photo does not do the painting justice. There are faces painted in different locations.....faces of pain and frustration. A friend sent me an email this morning saying that Happiness is a journey....to stop waiting for it to begin and just be happy. If life was as easy as a slogan.