Worry

Worry has become a constant companion in my life. Each morning I wake up each morning and worry is waiting to great me, to be my companion for the day. Each day I hope worry will have moved on to someone else but it is stubborn and it stays with me... I worry about finances, my health, my life and my girls. Tonight my oldest daughter went to San Francisco to go on a date. It was with someone I did not know, so I worried the whole evening....and when she called late this night that she had a nice time......relief came over me, but worry was there to remind me that she still has to drive home. The oncologist called today with results of the ct scan. The results were the same.....the pelvic mass is still growing and the cancer still exist within. The plan is still the same, see the urologist and have chemo next month. Worry was listening in on the conversation grasping my heart as I listened wanting to hear good news.....only to hear what I already knew. I painted what I thought worry would look like....she had to be old and graveled.....I did not want to give worry a good face since it is not productive to me......One day I will rid myself of worry...but for now, I guess I will just move over and share my space.