My Last week

My last week has been long and tiring. The old statement if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.....seems to be my mantra. I have still not have heard from oncologist about the tumor, my new dryer broke, relationships with my family is strained, and I just can't shake my mood. I saw one of my doctors today and he told me to just be sad and stop resisting the feeling. That the more I resist just feeling sad, the sadder I will feel. He said saddness was a normal feeling and if I was not feeling sad I would not be normal. .......I guess I want to be abnormal because feeling sad is not working for me. I have not motivation than to sit and be sad. Thinking of the what if's and hoping for things to just get better but not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have things to get done but find myself with no motivation to do them. I pray that things get better...I just pray that I can find some peace.