My View

Today Rosie annouced that she would no longer be on the View. I started watching the View again when she went on it. It was nice to hear opposing political views...some of which I agreed and some of which I thought were well plain crap. Sorry to see her going..but I guess nothing in life is forever. Yesterday I saw Patrick, my theraphist. I refer to my sessions with him as a place to flush the mental garbage that spins in my head. He always books me for an hour but we last two hours. It never fails....we laugh, we cry, we debate whatever is going on with me. I started seeing him when I was first diagnosed. I thought it was a sign of weakness to talk to a theraphist....but I see it differently now. It takes courage to let your walls down and let someone see the raw feelings you are having. Most people keep those emotions inside. I have the priveledge of unloading my junk and am given a different view of it. It is an outlet just like writing this blog. My heart is aching yet I am trying to find calmness in the storm. I reverted to an old bad habit of shopping to release tension. I bought a new chaise lounge for the livingroom. It is being delivered today. I told Armando last night he had to move the old one out to make room for the new one and he said when did you buy that.......I said simply don't deny me a small pleasure....he then just moved the old one out without comment.

My niece sent me an email in Spanish about how the hardest words to say were those of forgive me and I am sorry. It got me thinking that it true. It is easy to be angry at someone or a higher power, but hard to say forgive me for not trusting or for something I have said.

I have said things that I have regretted and have had a hard time saying an honest heartfelt "I'm sorry" So for those that I have not called or for those that I may have hurt.....I am truly sorry. I was only looking at my view and not paying attention to yours,