Just feeling really low today

I can't seem to shake this feeling of utter blue. Things just keep piling up and the lower I feel. The news about the cancer returning and the large mass growing inside me has me feeling hopeless and in total despair. Yesterday the chaise lounge arrived...what a joke. It is 6ft long and so low to the ground that it looks like Barbie furniture next to my other furniture. My coffee and end tables are taller. I called Penneys.com to return it....I now have to take it apart and put the destroyed box together so it can be shipped back. My brother in Puerto Rico is having some serious issues and I feel helpless to help him. I snapped at my daughters and now they think I am mad at them....all I really want to do is cry. Scream at God that I surrender..no more, just give me a break. The only thing that works are the tears that I am shedding. Life really sucks right now......I wish it didn't.