just go with the flow of the river

Life is like river, always flowing and changing. If you swim againest the current you struggle. If you swim with the current, you get carried along with less effort and y0u pass through many events. Struggling is too much work, worrying is too much work and it leaves you tired and feeling powerless.

I corresponded with the Oncologist again yesterday. I had lots of questions, like is the mass in my pelvis dangerous? How will he monitor its' growth? How long will he wait until he decides to treat? I was surprised at how quickly he returned my email. The mass is in the pelvic area surrounded by lots of viens, and is pushing againest my bladder. He will do another CT scan in 3 months unless symptons of pain or pressure againest my bladder becomes unbearable. I am stage IV cancer so any mass in my body is dangerous.....but treatable, not curable. Waiting is hard......but again everything is hard when you worry.

The months of ahead will be tough. I will try to swim with the current and just let things flow........looking for distractions to take my mind of f my troubles. I wish there was a make a wish foundation for adults....I have lots of wishes I would love to do...I want to see Europe before I die, I want to see my family in Puerto Rico again soon....I would love to visit friends in Detroit and New York....I want my bills to go away. I want peace in my soul. so many wishes......I will just dream and pray.