Rough day

Some days it is better just to stay in bed and bury your head under the covers.  Not sure why I am emotional today.  Perhaps it is because Mother's Day is coming and I miss my mom and had she been alive her birthday would be just a few days away.   
  I have been slowly getting out.  Sitting at home with just the company of the cat, my laptop and TV is lonely.  This morning, I woke up at 4am.  I just don't sleep and have not slept since I was diagnosed with cancer.  After reading my own blog I realized that is when the no sleeping pattern started.  I usually get up, fix myself a cup of coffee and read emails and check Face Book.  Today I opened up an ETSY store in hopes of selling some artwork to help with costs of going for treatment and blood tests.  My laptop froze and when I tried to bring it back online, it would not give me a screen.  I kept restarting it and nothing.  Finally somehow I got one window open and have been using it, but it is sick and is going in for repair tonight. 
  Yesterday I went to the grocery store for some food items I needed for dinner.  I don't wear a wig or scarves because they are hot.  I have been using a head band, wearing earrings and make up so I don't look too out of place.  At the bakery section I had the feeling that someone was staring at me.  I could feel it.  I turned and there was a woman in her 50's just looking at me.  I smiled and turned around.  That feeling of being stared at stayed with me as I slowly walked down the aisle.  I looked again and she was next to me just staring again.
She asked if I shaved my head on purpose or if it fell out.  I said it was a side effect of chemo.  I was a little unnerved.  She then stated I should cover my head.  I just walked away quickly and headed for the check stand.
  My stalker was right behind me.  She kept asking questions... I tried to ignore her and to be polite.  She then asked me if I was contagious.  I said no, she was more of a danger to me then I was to her.  She had to say again that I should cover my head, she felt it was disturbing was her quote.
  The comment stayed with me.  It hurt my feelings and I could not believe the ignorance.  When my laptop started to go out this morning I got sad.  I use this as my lifeline, my dairy...so having said that.  I hate the thought of losing my laptop.  The lady in the store yesterday and the laptop had me in tears. Silly but the worst part of being on chemo is the isolation and loneliness.  I just cant go out when I want and the lady made me feel weird so it took a part of my self confidence.
  A bright spot to my day.  UPS delivered a package for me.  I was surprised because I have not ordered anything in a while.  I opened it and found a lovely Mother's day gift from my step daughter.  It contain some cute items, a drawing by her son, my step grand child. lots of her family pictures and a card.  I broke down in tears.  The kindness of this gift was so amazing.  It touched my heart.  I did not expect anything and this gesture was huge.  My emotions are so up and down, all I could do was cry.  I texted her a thank you and told her how much the gift meant to me.  It was so thoughtful and her gift made me even more emotional.  Not sure why, but it will be treasured always.
  I posted my stalker story on FB.  My friends were quick to comment and give support.  I didn't post it for pity, but to let people know that when one is dealing with a disease like cancer, it makes life pretty hard on days. 
  My ETSY store resulted in two sales today.  The cost of going to treatment is a expensive.  A friend bought two pieces of art and I am so appreciative.  I travel almost two hours one way to go to the doctor or give blood.  The extra money I earn will pay for copayments and gas. 
  Today was rough but it also contained many blessings.