coping
Coping with christmas and cancer is not an easy combination. Christmas used to be a holiday that I looked forward to so much. The family togetherness, the food , just the feeling that all was right in the world. Now things are different. I am no longer hosting a huge party or doing the normal Christmas stuff. I have struggled to sleep lately...I count pills trying to figure out when they will be gone. I really wish I could smile again, find joy in the season, but depression and saddness fills my world.
I feel lumps in my stomach and wonder what is going on.....My birthday was the other day...as I blew out the candles on the cake, I just wished that this nightmare of a life would be over. I miss the people who used to be an everyday fixture in my life but have moved on. Their lives are still filled with joy.....who wants to be around a person who just can't cope anymore.
I long for days where I will not worry but am happy for all that is right. I don't know how to cope.
1 Comments:
Happy belated birthday!
Where there is life there is hope. If you are not a church goer, try see if you can start attending a good bible based church, it will lift all this sorrow away from your spirit. God created you and knew how your entire life would be from birth till the end, he has a purpose for your life whether or not you know it, pray more, talk to him more, all the sorrow will dissipate I guarantee you...at a time like this, its hard to have faith, but now is when it needs to be stronger than ever...
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