Gloomy Monday

Can I have a do over day? I was up most of the night, sleep alluding me even with sleep meds. I finally get to sleep around 6am and then the phone rings. My sister begins telling me of all the things that are going wrong in her life. This is not a new thing....It has happened time and time again where I have had to rescue her from finacial problems etc. I am tired and emotionally drained when she finishes her lists of needs and wants. The "woo is me feeling" from her is overwhelmning. I am empathic to her problems but honestly, I can not go into rescue mode yet again. I am dealing with my own baggage, I am unable to handle anymore.

I don't know why but I have felt like I am on the verge of tears lately.....watching the View today Gene Wilder talked about having Non Hodgkins Lymphoma....Elizabeth Edwards is also discussed and fact that she is stage IV. I am stage IV...the worst stage of cancer you can be at.

She is quoted that she does not want to be remembered for her having cancer but for what good work she has done. I just want to be remembered. Not forgotton, not a statistic, not another woman who lost her battle. I wish this day would start over...there would not be rain, there would not be anyone with problems giving me guilt trips, there would only be calm and peace...a day of light and sunshine not that of gloom and doom.