celebration....on hold

A little nervous and scared this evening. Doctors, family and friends are saying "don't worry." I spent Saturday in the ER with the stomachache from hell. XRays taken, blood drawn and meds given but no reason for pain. In the end was sent home with knowledge that my liver is inflamed. Emails from Onconlogist and Primary doctor speculating the cause....maybe too much of a certain drug........no can't be, haven't used that drug in a while......Well maybe exposure to Hep B.....and chemo stirred it up. come in for more tests I am told. Tired of being a test subject for the unknown. Sleepless night is haunting me.....waiting for morning to go to lab for tests. Don't want to have another set back. Wanted to have a longer reprieve.
Recieved an email from a friend apologizing for not being a good friend....very gracious.......a little late. When do you just let things go? When do you just have hope and happiness and not let worry enter into your thoughts? Does it ever happen? Is there a happily ever after? One can only wonder.......