Chemo tomorrow

I had a CT scan yesterday, gave blood today and tomorrow I have Chemo begin again. Lots of worry of what the CT scan showed.....how being off Chemo for a month and a half has allowed the cancer to grow again runs through my mind. I can feel tumors in my stomach again so I know there has been some growth. I don't fear the Chemo, I fear the side effects. The upset stomachs, the bathroom problems, headaches and the lathargic feeling that comes with the treatment. As the the tubes are hooked up and the toxins drip into my blood I wonder where I am in the grand scheme of treatment. There is no cure, but there is hope....
Sometimes hope is hard to have when you are in the middle of this. Tough time being hopeful when you hear bad news.
My picture was taken today for a press release for the upcoming Women of Color. I am a honoree this year.....they are honoring women who have soared over disabilities. The photographer said that I project a lot of positive energy...funny sometimes I don't feel that way......Life goes on.