On the road again

I tasted freedom today. I have been locked in the house for days......yearning to see the world but too tired to drive and run errands. Today I have a Theraphy appt. Usually the appts are emotional and draining. Today is different. Marissa offers to drive me around to my appt. and do all the errands that I have to get done. I am as excited as a little kid knowing I will be out in the world. It didn't matter that I was armned with hand sanitizer.....I got some freedom from my home. We go Lodi, then back to Galt to the bank.....I introduced Marissa to our safety deposit box.......telling her this is where the papers you may need are kept. It was like a rite of passage......here daughter someday you will have to watch over these papers. We went to my theraphy appt. I am in a good mood.....I realized that my reality is what it is.....I am no longer struggling againest the cancer just accepting it. I have no anger to unload. We talk instead of great resturants and of my half of eyebrow.....first time my appt is not emotional and I don't want to be there.......I want to be out with my daughter riding in the car people watching.
I am not supposed to eat out......but beg Marissa to stop at resturant. I tell her.....lets just enjoy the day.....wanting to put off coming home as long as possiable. Afterwards we come home and just spend time together enjoying the conversation. Fixing dinner together was a first. She taught me to make artichoke brussetta.....we dream of going to New York.... I fix a plate to send home to Jen.....get an email from a dear friend and today......all seems normal.......the vicodin staved off the pain.....but the joy of the day brought lots of light.